She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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