Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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