I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
