We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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