so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
