Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
