Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
