dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize