He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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