I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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