Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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