what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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