pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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