with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
