if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize