I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
