eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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