so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
