The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize