Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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