so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
