Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
