By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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