I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
