there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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