Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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