So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
