we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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