I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
