I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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