I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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