Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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