the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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