i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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