I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
