So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
