uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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