its not stalking. its research.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Randomize
