no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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