i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
