So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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