Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
