I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
