Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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