I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
