You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
