My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
