i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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