WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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