Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
