yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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