I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i came on her dog
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
