Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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