Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
