Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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