So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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