remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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