what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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