Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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