I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
