My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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