we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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